The End is Nigh (But not in a terrifying way)

TTC-ers! Another post so soon after the last, I’m on a roll (or something).

So I’m coming to the end of my TTC story, for now at least. Oh, it won’t be for at least another year, but there is an end in sight.

What I mean by that, is that within a year we will have exhausted our options. In 2 weeks time, my hubby and I have an appointment to see a specialist to discuss IUI, IVF, and ICSI. I imagine at this point we’ll try IUI first for a couple of cycles and when (if?) that doesn’t work we’ll move onto IVF, and then as a last resort we’ll keep ICSI up our sleeves. But there’s only so many rounds of any of these fertility treatments that you can try before you say enough is enough.

By next year, I’ll either be pregnant, have a child, or we will have given up and moved onto other alternatives – adoption, fostering. Not an option I want to consider at the moment, because I am selfish, but something that is becoming a more real possibility by the day.

With the end in sight, it’s hard not to be a bundle of of nervous anticipation. I’m wound so tightly right now that the slightest thing can set me into a crazy emotional spiral, and I have to say, I DO NOT LOVE IT! I crave distractions at the moment, but nothing seems to work long enough stop the incessant thought-cyclone in my head right now, so writing this seemed the only option.

There are so many what-if’s in life, and  I know it’s not healthy to think that way. My poor hubby, who is as optimistic as they come, can’t stand when I bring these what-ifs up. Am I being too negative by thinking, what if it doesn’t happen for us? Or is that a reality I have to start facing?

Like with everything else in TTC life, it’s just a complete unknown.

Sending baby dust to all you lovely ladies xx

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