On Hold

Good morning sunshines!

The other day I found myself thinking about a dress I had seen. I really, really liked the dress. It was a little pricey, but my work-appropriate dress collection could use a lot of work.

And dresses are so easy! Especially in winter when you have to worry about layering up. Tights, dress, jacket/cardi, scarf, done! The only problem? Well here’s a little insight into my inner monologue.

‘Wow great dress. Very practical – could wear it to work… Doesn’t show too much cleavage. And it’s so floaty & pretty! Oh BUT, it’s quite tight in the waist & hip region. What if I get preggers? I wouldn’t be able to wear it anymore, it doesn’t have a lot of give. What a waste of money that’d be.’

The reason I bring up this dress, is not because I’m still thinking about it. I have a million of these moments every month. Where I put my life on hold for the expectation of a baby.

For example: DH & I have a good friend’s wedding coming up in November. It’s in Tasmania, which is either a flight or a very long car trip, followed by a VERY rough boat trip, away from us. The problem? I won’t know until I get this month’s AF, whether I would be able to fly in late Nov/early Dec. at the moment, that would put me in the final trimester. I also wouldn’t want to be taking a very rough boat trip (never mind the drive as well) at that point in time… So we put that decision on hold. Missing out on some amazing flight offers along the way!

These are just 2 examples, but I have a similar inner monologue with almost every decision I make involving any sort of forward planning.

When I realised this, I started consciously trying to stop myself from doing this. It’s tough – I don’t want to waste money on something that I won’t be able to do or wear if I do get pregnant. But equally, I don’t want to put my life entirely on hold for something that may never happen. I have also always been a full believer in spending the months before pregnancy doing whatever I won’t be able to do during pregnancy, or once the baby comes.

Eating unpasteurised cheese (*drool*), drinking beer and wine, travelling, sleeping in (I will miss sleep so much), being alone, doing nothing, watching 7 seasons of The Mentalist for the first time to fill my ‘free time’, shopping for myself and being a touch on the reckless side with my spending habits…

I guess the key thing here is compromise. In Feb, DH & I booked a 3 week trip to the US for July. It’s the sort of thing we (OK, I) would usually have wanted to book almost a full year in advance, for maximum planning time and so that nothing would be fully booked. But we waited until Feb so that we could be sure that I would be safe to travel. We are going to be in Napa Valley, but we haven’t booked any winery or cheese tours yet, because maybe we’ll get pregnant & if so we can just spend the whole time relaxing in a spa instead.

Have any of you had similar experiences? How did you manage it? Do you find yourself thinking ‘but what if I’m pregnant by then?’…or is it just my crazy obsessive mind?