Peak Obsession

Hello blog-world! This week I am (I think) entering the all-consuming two week wait. I thought, what better time to write a post about the various ways I try (and generally fail) to distract myself in this time.

Which is genius, really, because one of the ways I distract myself is by writing these blog posts!

  1. Watching way too much TV

Honestly, this one’s pretty easy for me because I already watch way too much TV. In fact, my job actually requires me to watch a lot of TV (yes, really). The problem is, when I am in the TWW, I find my mind wandering even when watching my favourite shows. Enter #2 on the list…

2. Multi-task

The more balls I juggle, the harder it is to obsess pointlessly over every single possible symptom. Playing a game on my phone while watching something is a great way to stop me from checking my calendar to work out my due date.

3. Podcasts & Kindle

What about my loooong daily bus ride, where, thanks to Austalia’s crappy internet it’s just not possible to watch TV? Well that’s where my other loves come into play! I highly recommend The Dollop, Plumbing the Death Star & How Did This Get Made for entertainment-based podcasts. As for books, I’ll basically read anything, but if you need inspiration, let me know your genre of choice!

4. Join a support group

Either in the real world or online. One of the things I’ve discovered is just how many people are going through infertility related issues out there. They have banded together to support each other, and even if you don’t think you need that help, being there to help others can give you a whole new perspective.

5. Write (or paint, or sing)

Do something creative that you enjoy. Even if you’re terrible at it. I love flexing out my poor, under-utilised creative muscles. When I was younger, I used to make up stories all the time for my younger siblings. I haven’t done that for years, and I forgot how great it felt just to put words on paper (or tap keys on my phone).

6. Medical journals

While I wait for my BFP to come along, I try to stay on top of what I can do each cycle to improve my chances. My new specialist is great, but a doctor is always going to give you the bullet points. If you want to understand more about your conditions, you can (and should) discuss it with your healthcare professional. But that doesn’t mean you can’t educate yourself along the way. I have never been all that interested in science, but in the last year I have read so many medical journals and studies about PCOS, insulin resistance, Hashimoto’s and infertility, to try and understand them better so I can make the right changes in my life.

7. Staying healthy

Making the right choices includes getting out there and exercising. My DH & I are going on holidays in July to the US, and we’ll be doing a fair but of hiking. So each weekend, we go for a decent length walk with our parents. It’s impossible to obsess while exercising in the sunshine with loved ones.

8. Obsess anyway

Well, almost impossible. Even with all of the above, I still somehow find time to think about every possible detail, including repeatedly counting how many days until I can test. Why? I have no idea, especially since I’ve generally answered every question a million times a day, and yet still find myself checking my fertility apps or googling early pregnancy symptoms!

This month, I keep calculating and recalculating my potential EDD based on various O-dates, because it would likely be DH’s birthday! I also keep thinking about when I want to start testing & how long I could hold out – the earliest possible day would be Mother’s Day, but do I want to test then & just end up depressed if it’s another BFN?

At the end of the day, I can’t help but fixate on these details. And if I’m completely honest, while it does get out of hand sometimes when I’m debating POAS for the 2nd time in a day, I kind of enjoy it. Because, deep down, as disappointing as this experience can be, as heart-wrenchingly sad… It’s still exciting. I’m still full of nervous anticipation at the thought that this month could be the one. That next year I could be introducing my nephew to his first cousin. That DH & I will get to meet someone who is a part of both of us. One day! Until then, won’t you join me in pointlessly wasting another hpt by testing too early?

baby dust to all xx

 

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